Fire and Ice, Part II

August 18, 2010

As long as we’re talking about sports, let me give you a warning: if you use a product called Absorbine Jr., be very careful to keep it as far away from your boys as possible. Let me explain.

I’ve been working around the house a lot lately. This is why I don’t exercise, because the Nordic Warrior Queen keeps me so damn busy with her honeydo list. But even so, I still get sore muscles. So the other weekend while applying some Abosrbine Jr. to my toes (read the post “Nasty” from 2-August and you’ll understand), I happened to read the instructions on the bottle and noticed this stuff is supposed to be good for sore muscles as well. So I applied it to my legs and lower back, and went back to work. 

I don’t know what happened, but fifteen minutes later I was out in the yard and felt this burning sensation between my legs and I thought I was going to die right there. Somehow this shit had migrated into my shorts and my balls were experiencing a nuclear meltdown. I haven’t done the 50-yard dash since High School, but I have to believe I beat my old record as I sprinted across the yard and into the shower to wash this crap off.

So be careful. It does a good job on Athlete’s Foot, but keep it away from the Johnson.

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