While visiting a friend’s house last night, I opened the front door to find this guy waiting for me on the step. He’s a Sonoran Desert Toad. Every monsoon season in Arizona they come out of the washes by the hundreds. They scream like women, hop about the yard, and have toad sex right in front of everyone. They eat mice and bugs and sometimes each other. It’s magical. But the coolest part is that they are hallucinogenic. If you milk their venom glands (I’m not sure yet how to do this) then dry the resultant liquid and smoke it, you might see God. I’m told you can also lick them and get the same effect, but I hadn’t yet drunk enough beer to try this. Maybe this weekend.