Why Birds are Cool

March 11, 2010

They talk, they laugh, they sing

Mine can hover in the air, like a helicopter

If they were six feet tall, they would eat you

They can crack walnuts with their beaks

Bird poop doesn’t stink too much, and they don’t pee on you

If you are in the kitchen, they will call to you

They are destructive, like a three-year old with a knife

You can see they are like little dinosaurs. With feathers

Birds smell nice, like leaves

They warn you when a bad man comes in the house

They have a sense of humor, and love to fuck with the dog by whistling to him

If you have a lot of them, you can order big bags of bulk bird food on the Internet

They drop their toys on the floor and watch as you go pick them up. Then they do it again

If you put one on the floor, he will walk around like he owns the place

They sit on their young until they’re teenagers, and then push them out of the nest

Having a bird means you’re part of a flock

They can fly, and I can’t

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