They talk, they laugh, they sing
Mine can hover in the air, like a helicopter
If they were six feet tall, they would eat you
They can crack walnuts with their beaks
Bird poop doesn’t stink too much, and they don’t pee on you
If you are in the kitchen, they will call to you
They are destructive, like a three-year old with a knife
You can see they are like little dinosaurs. With feathers
Birds smell nice, like leaves
They warn you when a bad man comes in the house
They have a sense of humor, and love to fuck with the dog by whistling to him
If you have a lot of them, you can order big bags of bulk bird food on the Internet
They drop their toys on the floor and watch as you go pick them up. Then they do it again
If you put one on the floor, he will walk around like he owns the place
They sit on their young until they’re teenagers, and then push them out of the nest
Having a bird means you’re part of a flock
They can fly, and I can’t