When I was eight years old, my brother left us, and over the years that followed it seemed that my family had gone with him. Today, I know I was wrong. When I was eighteen, I married a girl, and looked forward to the years we would spend together. Today, I see that I don’t deserve her, and hope that she can still remember how I was back then. When I was twenty-eight, my life was on track. I had a wife, two kids, a house, a job, and still it wasn’t enough. …Read the Rest
There’s a new piece up at Every Day Poets http://www.everydaypoets.com/riding-the-pumpkin-by-kip/
Well, it’s not exactly legal, but it’s a lot less illegal now, thanks to Arnold and Senate Bill 1449. This means Californians who get caught with a one-ounce bag will now receive a civil infraction (a ticket) and a $100 fine (a lot less expensive than a sack of pot, that’s for sure). No more arrests, no jail, no attorneys, no hassle. And with some 600,000 people arrested for possession last year in California, think how much money the state will save on legal …Read the Rest
I told you about that obsessive-compulsive girl that sleeps at my house on weekends? The one that loaned her old cell phone to me a few weeks ago, after my Droid went kafooie? Sadly for her, she didn’t bother cleaning out her contacts or reminders before she gave me the phone. I discovered this unfortunate fact two days ago, when the phone reminded me at 6:00 AM that it was the 2nd anniversary with “The Jakers.” I’d never before heard …Read the Rest
On this day in 1892, Mansfield State played Wyoming Seminary in the first nighttime public football game, at the Great Mansfield Fair in Pennsylvania. The newly founded General Electric Company provided the lighting, hanging dim incandescent bulbs from the grandstands as well as from a tall pole in the center of the field. Ouch. Electric lighting, as well as the game officially known as football, was only 13 years old. And since the first production automobiles were still ten years away, the fans had to manage the pre-game …Read the Rest
Here’s the latest weapon in the never-ending quest of the do-gooders to dumb down America. Gone are the days when grillmasters judged the doneness of the meat with a skilled touch of the spatula. The more scientific of us outdoor chefs would time the food, so many minutes on each side, or even insert a digital thermometer into the thickest part of the breast. But no more. I will never again have to listen to my wife’s nagging fear over …Read the Rest
Taking yet another load of crap to the landfill last week, I was delayed by a southbound train at the crossing of Tangerine and I-10. The guy driving the thing was in no hurry, and the load was hundreds of cars in length; I was in for a long wait. My immediate reaction was perhaps normal – I was pissed off at the delay, and wanted to get home . But there was nothing I could do, so I turned off the engine, pushed my seat back, …Read the Rest
He makes me feel like Gary Kasparov. Let me explain. Last week, bored with always beating the pants off him at Words with Friends, I challenged my son-in-law to a friendly game of Chess with Friends. He grudgingly accepted, I assumed only to keep his wife’s Dad happy, because he told me before we started that he wasn’t very good. All I can say now is liar liar pants on fire. Five losses and one draw later, feeling mentally exhausted, emasculated, and embarrassed, I’m rethinking the …Read the Rest
This morning my son told me it’s Bilbo Baggins’ birthday, but he was wrong. According to Wiki, it was yesterday. Figures. As I recall, the kid missed his Dad’s last birthday too. Maybe my math is wrong, but since Bilbo Baggins of Bag-End was 111 years old (or eleventy-one) in 1954 when Lord of the Rings was first published, that would make him 177 today, truly a remarkable age for a Hobbit, and far outliving the Old Took. And that makes Frodo 116, also a fairly respectable …Read the Rest