Dunce Sticks

September 27, 2010

Here’s the latest weapon in the never-ending quest of the do-gooders to dumb down America.

Gone are the days when grillmasters judged the doneness of the meat with a skilled touch of the spatula. The more scientific of us outdoor chefs would time the food, so many minutes on each side, or even insert a digital thermometer into the thickest part of the breast. But no more.

I will never again have to listen to my wife’s nagging fear over how pink is too pink, and cave in to her concerns by slicing the meat open.

That’s because we now have the “Done Stick.” To hell with talent, skill, and technology – now we have a stupid piece of plastic instead.

Look, I’m no Bobby Flay, but I’d feel like a total retard if I stuck this little piece of plastic into my food to verify if it’s ready to eat. I’d sooner chuck the burgers in the trash and go to McDonald’s.

And check out the warning on the package, telling us idiot consumers to remove the stick from the food before serving.

Thank you, consumer advocates, for coming up with yet another way to protect us, promote your own well-being, waste our money and time, and wreck the environment.

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