Florida’s a nice place. As an Arizonan, used to dry, harsh conditions, I am amazed at the abundance of life here. The lush green landscape seemingly swarms with birds, bugs, bobcats, and bears. The amount and variety of life here is freakish in comparison with my arid home.
Shortly after my arrival, the 9:00 news reported on an alligator that ate some woman’s yipping pug dog. Unsatisfied with the appetizer, he then proceeded to knock on the woman’s kitchen door, looking for the main course. And to hear the locals tell it, there are pythons as long as semi-trucks out there, capable of swallowing that hungry alligator whole.
Just a few feet from my Mom’s house in Cape Coral, there’s an entire family of Burrowing Owls – why don’t they sit in the trees instead? I think it would be safer.
And near the airport, I saw a flock of three-foot tall white birds, all standing on one foot. I would get tired if I had to stand one-footed in the muck for hours on end. I assume they have two feet, so why don’t they use them? To be honest though, I don’t really care, as long as they remain standing there while my plane takes off. Large birds and aircraft engines do not mix.
There are so many fierce animals here that Florida has even given many of their sports teams zoological names, such as the Panthers, Rays, Marlins, Jaguars, Dolphins, Sharks, Tuskers, Manatees, Threshers, and Cubs. Not sure where they came up with Orlando Magic, because there were plenty of animals left on the list.
It must be all the water. The place is only a few feet above sea-level. This explains why there are so many boats here. Sailboats, cruisers, catamarans, skiffs, and fishing boats – everyone has one. Perhaps it’s a requirement to own a boat if you live in Florida.
I certainly hope so, because when the big meteor finally hits Planet Earth, this whole state is going to be underwater. I think I’ll go home now. All we have to worry about there are dust-devils and rattlesnakes.