Dear Steve,
I just wanted to thank you for your new invention called the iPad. It has ruined my life. This morning I lost my job when they caught me playing Plants vs. Zombies during a management meeting. On the way home, I had a car accident because I rear-ended some guy as I was playing Labyrinth. When the cop came, he got pissed after he caught me Googling traffic laws while he was talking and I was arrested. I finally got home in time to play ball with my son for a few minutes before bed, but I was paying more attention to the iPad than the game and I threw carelessly, hitting the poor boy in the nose and breaking it. He said he’ll never speak to me again. Finally, my wife asked for a divorce, all because I asked if I could rest the iPad on her ass during sex in order to finish my Words with Friends game. Was that so wrong? I don’t blame you, but I regret to say that I must destroy the iPad first thing in the morning, before it destroys me, and will then join an iPad support group near my house, as my car is in the impound lot pending the investigation. Sincerely yours,
Bill Gates
P.S. Any chance you’re going to fix that annoying single-app limitation any time soon? I’d be happy to send some of my people over to help.