April 12, 2012

Dear Chase Bank,

The Nordic Warrior Queen broke a molar this week and it cost $580 to fix. Ouch. And then I forgot about the check I mailed a few days ago to the IRS. The Feds must really need the money, because they sure process payments a lot faster than they do refunds. As a result of all this, my checking account balance went negative by $28. Sorry about that, it happens. However, I didn’t receive an email alert on this situation until 3:41 in the morning, at which time I also discovered you guys charged me a $38 NSF fee. Now I have a question: what kind of math are you folks doing over there? You charge your customers NSF fees 1.5 times the amount overdrawn? Is that how it works? Good thing I wasn’t a thousand bucks overdrawn, otherwise we’d be talking some serious money. To add insult to injury, I had plenty of cash in my savings account – at least I did, until I thought about it and then decided you guys can go fuck yourselves and pulled it all out. Considering the .05% APR you pay on savings, I’d rather have it sitting under my mattress than leave it in your greedy hands. Please save this email, for review during your upcoming corporate workshop titled “Why are we losing so many customers?” Thank you,

An ex-customer

P.S. For any potential burglars who might be reading this, I didn’t really put the money under my mattress. That’s just a metaphor.

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