There’s something really weird going on around here.
It’s like this. Lately, I’ve been finding empty boxes everywhere – in the refrigerator, the pantry, the cupboards and freezer. Those boxes once contained a food product, but now they’re empty. As I said: weird.
I know there are people in this world that will take the last cracker and put the empty box back on the shelf. Who will dare to take the last soda from the 12-pack and leave the echoing floppy cardboard container in the fridge. But none of those people live here.
I know this because the only other people who live here are my son, my grandson, and my wife. My son is 27-years old and has been taught not to do this. He knows better. And my grandson has been threatened with bodily harm if he ever again leaves an empty box behind (never mind that many of the boxes were too high for him to reach).
What about the Nordic Warrior Queen?
Well, my wife would sooner run through downtown Tucson naked in pink flip-flops singing “We are the World” than leave an empty box in the kitchen cupboard. It would never happen.
It could be burglars concerned with the environment, ones who choose to leave the recyclables behind when done pilfering our household goods. Or it could be homeless people who happen to be short of room in their shopping carts. But I don’t think so; we lock our doors at night.
That leaves only one possibility.
After a great deal of pondering, not to mention a little alcohol (which always allows me to think better), I’ve decided it must be aliens.
Specifically, it’s those t-shirt-eating belly button aliens I mentioned some weeks back. I’m certain now that when they emerge from their navel cocoons and fly back to the mother ship, they then need sustenance, so from the safety of their alien spacecraft they teleport great quantities of breakfast bars, frozen pizzas, and Girl Scout cookies from their erstwhile host’s abundant food stores and send them back to their distant planet, thus leaving the empty boxes behind.
That must be the reason. No human would do this.