Well, it was bound to happen, I suppose. According to Family Radio, the world will end this year, 2011.
Yep, mark your calendars, because on May 21st, the long-awaited Judgment Day begins, and all of us poor saps who haven’t been going to church on a regular basis (or at all) are in for some deep shit.
The Great Rapture starts that day, which is good news for a few people, but those who don’t make the cut are going to have their lifeless bodies scattered about the face of the earth. Yuck.
“All the dead that have ever died” will be raised up from their graves. I’m not sure what all those dead people are going to do – walk around looking scary, I suppose – but all I know for sure is that there are a whole lot of them. It’s going to get crowded.
Earthquakes will ravage the whole world, so I’m guessing that means no more California. I’d better go to Disney Land while I still have the chance.
And after five months of horrible torment, on October 21st (or maybe on the 22nd, I’m a little confused on this point) the entire world will be destroyed by fire. It looks like there’s no sense in hanging on to those frequent flier miles until the holidays.
So, you’ve been warned. For myself, I’m going to put in for some PTO right away, so I can get a good seat. See you there.
Dammit, now I’ll never get to wear my big white dress! Guess Jake and I better elope 🙂