I have a very important question: why is it that socks, which are two separate pieces of fabric, are purchased in pairs, while pants, obviously one distinct entity, are also purchased in pairs?
If you’re going to tell me it’s because pants have two legs, then why don’t I have any pairs of shirts? A cobbler uses two pieces of leather for one pair of shoes, but a textile worker uses only one piece of cloth for a pair of underwear. An optometrist uses one metal or plastic frame for a pair of glasses, but a jewelry maker needs two pieces of metal to make a pair of earrings. Who thinks these things up?
While filling out the laundry form at the hotel in Mexico recently, I came up against this dilemma. Before me was a rumpled heap of clothing requiring laundry service: three shirts, three pair of jeans, and three pair of dirty socks. Without thinking, scribbled a 3 in the little box next to SHIRTS, and another 3 next to PANTS, but when I got to the section on SOCKS, my hand screeched to a halt. What quantity should I enter? 3, or 6?
Consider this: if I screwed it up, my dress plan would be ruined for the week. If I wrote 6, I was certain to confuse the laundry, and they would surely call me late at night to apologize for losing my socks. But if I entered 3, they would likely send back only one and one-half pair. It was a quandary.
It was too much for my brain to handle. At the end I crossed my fingers and wrote down 6, figuring more socks are better than less.
P.S. On a related note, check out this interesting bit about the Russian Army and how they have solved man’s eternal problem of holes in the heels of one’s socks. The Russian Army issues to its soldiers two large pieces of one-size-fits-all fabric with which to wrap their feet. When a hole appears, it’s a simple thing to rotate the foot covering so that the hole covers a less critical part of your foot. Great idea, comrade.
I wonder if they issue them in pairs.
Dude, you have WAY too much time on your hands! Speaking of time – now that I have some, I decided to do my best to fulfill your fantasy of dining on a concoction of hamburger and lima beans – neither of which I have ever served you, by the way. I was surprised when Google found a number of responses to my query for “recipes with hamburger and lima beans.” So, next time you visit, be wary! I’ll leave the rest of your fantasies to the Nordic Warrior Queen.