In the morning, we go to San Diego. We will drive 409 miles to get there, or around 6 hours. I can make it in just over 5 hours, but I’m not driving, except through the mountains. If one were to Google the number 409, you would see some interesting stuff: Formula 409, invented by the Clorox Corporation in 1957 and originally sold only in 40-gallon drums, was a highly toxic industrial cleaner. Now it’s little stronger than goat piss. The Beach Boys once wrote a song about 409, remember? Giddy-up, giddy-up, 409. As a young man, I lusted to own a 409 engine, but I got over it. TK409 was a Stormtrooper accused of abandoning his post in the first Star Wars (or was it the 4th Star Wars? Who really knows anymore?). 409 is the area code for Beaumont, Texas, which I once drove through but never had the opportunity to call. Topic 409 is the section of the US tax code which refers to Capital Gains. I guess I don’t need to read that, considering that in the past year I’ve lost every frigging dime of capital gains I might have once owned. The year 409 was a busy one for the Romans, since the Vandals broke through Constantine’s front lines and his own general revolted against him in favor of then candidate for Emperor, Maximus. Politics apparently haven’t changed much in the last two millenia. You may see HTTP Error 409 if you try to upload an unacceptable file to a web server. Cheers star and lemur lover Kirstie Allie hit 409 pounds last year, but she’s vowed to get back in shape. Me too. In January of this year, Ethiopian Airlines Flight 409 went in the drink, killing all 90 aboard. And once, long, long ago, I had a job machining small metal parts from 409 stainless steel. I frequently miss those simpler times. There are a few more 409s, but I’m tired and have to get up in around 409 minutes (at 4:09 in the morning) and drive 409 miles to San Diego, where gas costs $4.09 per gallon.