Hungry Hungry Hippos

February 10, 2010

Imagine it – you’re walking down the trail to the local watering hole, minding your own business, thinking about that cute girl with the wicked dreadlocks and the small bone plate in her lower lip when WHAM! You suddenly find yourself on the ground, your shit scattered about, and you have a snorting mountain of grey bulging flesh and sharp pointy teeth laying down a bad case of whoop ass all over you.

Huh? What’s up with that?

If that great cosmic wheel of life had spun just a little differently on the day of your conception, this could be you. Instead of sipping your little latte at Starbucks this morning, or quietly driving to work plotting how to get even with your boss, you might have been born in sub-Saharan Africa, maybe Zambia or Tanzania, and your biggest concern of the day could be how to bring home the bacon while avoiding being crushed by a 4000-pound pissed-off hippopotamus.

Think I’m exaggerating? These cute creatures, whose cuddly semblance is likely sitting on your child’s bed, kill eight people every day!

So shut up and enjoy your latte. Things could be a lot worse.

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