Category Archives: Random Thoughts

Turtle Doves and French Hens

Turtle Doves and French Hens

After the strange conversation I’d had with ex-Partridge Family member Danny Bonaduce, I felt the need for some refreshment. Luckily, the Yard House is just down the road, and they serve over three hundred beers. Surely they would have something to take away the weirdness of the afternoon’s telephone call. Ten minutes later I was pulling up a seat at the bar. The bartender walked over and introduced himself as Robert. “What can I get you?” he asked. I noticed …Read the Rest

One Unhappy Partridge

One Unhappy Partridge

Danny Bonaduce called me last week, all excited. “Dude, Shirley and I are starting up the band again, and I was wondering if you can take Brian Forster’s spot.” “Umm…what? Who is this?” “Dude,” he sounded tense. “It’s me, Danny. Danny Bonaduce? You know, The Partridge Family?” “Why are you calling me?” “Don’t you remember? You wrote us that nice letter, about how you wanted to part of the band.” Was this guy serious? “Uh, Danny. That was, what? 1970? …Read the Rest

In case I missed anyone…

In case I missed anyone…

Click here: Hanson Christmas 2011

Maybe Later

Maybe Later

The Nordic Warrior Queen says I’m a procrastinator. That’s when I tell her I’d rather talk about it later. Actually, I think procrastination is a virtue. After all, why waste valuable time today doing what’s best put off until later? After all, you might wake up dead tomorrow. Look at all the things that would have turned out better if people had only procrastinated. If NASA had held off a few hours on the Space Shuttle Challenger launch, the air …Read the Rest

Raising Cain

Raising Cain

The Nordic Warrior Queen and I agree on most things, but politics isn’t one of them. For starters, I like Herman Cain. My wife likes…well, nobody. With things as they are in Washington these days, maybe I can’t blame her. Herman Cain and I have a lot in common – he likes pizza, I like pizza. He’s a Republican, and I am too, sort of, at least when I vote. And we both worked at Burger King, Home of the …Read the Rest

Kiwi Black

Kiwi Black

I had one of those business appointments where you’re not supposed to wear jeans and a t-shirt. I hate wearing a tie. Still though, I looked pretty good, at least for an old machinist. Until you looked down, that is. I was in desperate need of a shoeshine. My shoes looked like crap. There was a problem, however; sometime during the last couple of moves, I seem to have misplaced the shoepolish. That, or the Nordic Warrior Queen threw it …Read the Rest

Dividends

Dividends

My birthday was last month. Oh, you missed it? That’s okay, belated birthday gifts are always welcome. But it got me thinking: the next one is my fiftieth. The Big Five-OH. So I figured it was time to open a savings account.Retirement is only a few years away, right? I had a few bucks saved up, but where to put it? Under my mattress was just giving me a backache, but the fucking banks are only offering .01%, or less. …Read the Rest

The Supercuts Vampire

The Supercuts Vampire

I think all this dressing up for Halloween is silly. What’s the point, after all? Everyone knows there are no witches and goblins, no werewolves or vampires or ghosts. Still, the free candy is something I look forward to, so I play along. Just to be a good sport. Some people say I’m a little old for trick-or-treating, but it’s only once a year, so what’s the big deal? So yesterday afternoon, during a trial run of my costume, I …Read the Rest

Happy Birthday Bro

Happy Birthday Bro

I have a book at home. It sits on the bottom shelf, the pages are dusty, the cover torn; I haven’t read it for years. The title is “A Place in the Woods” by Helen Hoover, and tells the story of a married couple who one day decide to dump everything and flee suburban life for a fresh start in the woods of northern Minnesota. My brother gave me the book for Christmas when I was nine or ten, in …Read the Rest

MCMLXII

MCMLXII

In 1962, much of what we know today was yet to happen. The Beatles were busily working on their first album and Alcatraz was still open for business. Most Americans had never heard of Vietnam or the Gaza Strip. Martin Luther King had a dream, but was still keeping it to himself. Construction of the Berlin Wall had just begun. There was no James Bond, and chess master Garry Kasparov was not yet born, nor Johnny Depp, Helen Hunt, Julia …Read the Rest

Page 3 of 17«12345»...Last »

Switch to our mobile site