Category Archives: On Traveling

Rolling Low

Rolling Low

In Houston, they are both courteous and thoughtful. Nowhere is this more evident than in the bathrooms of their hotels. No more of that pesky and oft urgent unwrapping of the replacement roll: here the spare is all ready to go. And for those of us who are vertically challenged, there’s no stretching here: even Gul Mohammed or Danny Devito can reach these rolls. Thank you, Houston. I’ll be back.

Freshly Pressed

Freshly Pressed

I’m challenged by this whole ironing thing. What a pain in the ass. I suppose ironing pants isn’t too bad – up one side, flip, and then down the other side; unless you’re a total imbecile, you’ll end up with a passable crease. Even a monkey could iron a pair of pants. But shirts? No way. I can manage to smooth out that vast field of fabric across the back of the shirt, and maybe do the collar, but the …Read the Rest

Eating Out

Eating Out

I try to eat healthy. Really. But since I travel for work, I am frequently faced with eating restaurant food, which we all know is high in calories, low in fiber, and is generally loaded with saturated fat, sodium, and carbohydrates. Whatever. So I try to avoid deep-fried food (unless the restaurant specializes in Fish and Chips), and I stay away from processed meats (yet I admit to a fondness for sandwiches made with Italian salami, Capicola, or pepperoni).   And what’s wrong …Read the Rest

Tired Soldier

Tired Soldier

Squeak, squeak, squeak. That’s the sound of the wheel on a busted suitcase being dragged through the Dallas-Fort Worth International Airport with half the human race watching. The week before, the Nordic Warrior Queen warned me it was time for a new suitcase. I scoffed. No need for a new suitcase, I assured her. There’s plenty of life in that old boy. I might have actually said, “old boy.” It’s tough to give up a friend, a fellow traveler who’s …Read the Rest

The Battle of the Pink Tag

The Battle of the Pink Tag

I was boarding the plane to Tulsa. I was late getting to the gate, but since I carry Elite Status, I was able to push my way through the mass of casual travelers, ignoring their scornful looks, and make my way to the front of the line. Screw all you casual travelers. After hundreds of flights, I’ve earned it. Hahahahaaaha. The ticket lady looked down at my bulging suitcase. “Would you like a gate check ticket for your bag, sir?” …Read the Rest

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