Excerpt from a text discussion with the Nordic Warrior Queen while traveling
Wife: Are you at dinner?
Me: I found a new pub. Durty Nelly’s
Wife: Big surprise there
Me: Did you know Shepherd’s Pie is Irish?
Wife: What’s Shepherd’s Pie? Sounds gross
Me: It’s delicious. Lots of peas, however
Wife: Yuck
Me: Peas, in gravy, are delicious. Peas rolling about on a plate, quickly growing cold and soggy? Not so much
Wife: I see
Wife: Have you been drinking?
Me: Why do you say that, dear?
Wife: You get philosophical when you drink
Me: Well. Maybe one…or two. They have Black and Tans
Wife: I see
Me: So you agree then?
Wife: With what?
Me: Peas
Wife: I agree that peas suck
Me: Even in gravy?
Wife: Yes. All ways
Me: Nope. You are mistaken, lass. Sorry
Wife: Excuse me?
Me: I said I was sorry
Me: But you are still WRONG!
Me: Pea lovers of the world, unite!
Wife: You’re an ass
Me: I’m Mr. Ass, and I’m right. Especially when it comes to peas
Wife: If peas mean so much to you, then all I can say is SEE YA!
Me: You’re quitting me over peas?
Wife: Bye
Me: C’mon, give peas a chance, my dear colleen
Wife: Who’s Colleen???
Me: Colleen means girl, in Irish. The sign on the wall says so
Wife: As I was saying, you’re an ass
Me: Can we talk about peas some more?
Wife: Do I have a choice?
Me: Peas, peas, the magical…vegetable. The more you eat, the more you…are able
Wife: Able to what?
Me: You know. That thing you like so much
Wife: Excuse me?
Me: I think that I shall never see, a food so lovely as a pea
Me: Rolling ‘bout, in gravy brown, peas are great, peas are…profound
Me: Sorry. Could’ve rhymed better
Wife: How many beers did you say you had?
Me: I think I must be Irish. I’m an Irish poet, and I never know’d it
Wife: I’m going to bed. Call when you get back to the hotel
Me: I’m on my way, honey