According to the Centers for Disease Control, over 27 million people suffered “accidents or unintentional injuries” in 2006 (no, I can’t find a more recent statistic) and 120,000 or so died, of falls, poisoning, car accidents, etc. Apparently, us humans are a clumsy lot.
The Grim Reaper takes roughly five percent of us every year because of the stupid things we do or the everyday mistakes we make. But to be fair to the species, sometimes shit just happens.
Take my friend Jim.He was hurt this last weekend, but thankfully did not leave us for the great tavern in the sky. His Indian name is Runs with Beer (we bought him this t-shirt last Christmas) and is a member of the Havelina Hash House Harriers, a wacky group of drinkers with a running problem. Sometimes they wear women’s clothing while running and drinking (note my previous comment about the stupid things we do).
Jim, a retired airline pilot, was running in the hash, through the desert, in the rain, across the top of a slippery metal pipe above a wash. Alcohol may have been involved. Jim fell and, to make a long story short, broke a whole bunch of bones, wrecked his shoulder and cut his head. I doubt this knocked any sense into him, as he was soon asking the doctor when he could run again.
After visiting him in the hospital, I’d say he’s lucky he can still walk. And for this, we are grateful.
His next t-shirt will say something like “It seemed like a good idea at the time.”
Speedy recovery, Wagner.